Sweet Dreams
by TheVastEmptiness
Summary: Now that I had felt that euphoric control it was not getting away from me again. It didn't matter how it happened but I just couldn't let it go! The sleep had felt so sweet… perhaps if I slept forever the dream would never go away.


**Warning : Character Death / Suicide**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto**

I awoke with a start and a rather harsh fall. Writhing in my tangled covers and sheets that were now strewn about the floor, I eventually freed myself. It was not a very pleasant awakening but Kami was the dream _magnificent_! I had felt as though I was on top of the world! All of the people around me were but insignificant ants subject to my ruling. I had had _power_. There was no more of others pushing me around and me not fighting back because there was no hope of victory. No, for once I was the strong one! No one had dared to defy me and I ruled as Hokage, bending everyone to my will.

In all of my life, I had never been in control. Other people had always been in charge saying "Naruto! Do this!" or "Naruto no! Don't you dare do that!" I had never truly been able to control my own life and I knew this. I was weak and there was no place for weak people in this world. Usually, I would have been horrified to dream of harming others as I had never liked doing so. But a thought had finally occurred to me after a group of drunk villagers had ganged up on me yesterday for a beating. Why should I be passive while everyone else was cruel and hateful? It wasn't fair!

The only thing that had kept me from falling into a deep depression was my dream. I was going to be Hokage and have everyone's recognition! And of course, the old man Hokage and the few civilians that were kind to me. They still expected me to get up and play my part as a good citizen. I was a _very _good actor.

So instead of sinking to my knees and crying about all the injustices of life, I simply put on my mask and went on. I didn't need to be strong; the mask put on my brave front for me. I had come to identify myself as two separate beings but since my own weakness garnered more beatings and the mask's strong facade garnered less, I had started to use it more and more until I could hardly remember what my true face had ever looked like.

But oh, that _dream_! I had felt like my true self! There was no need for me to be a rag doll for the villagers' anger because if they dared to try and lay a hand on me I just squashed them with a barrage of taijutsu accompanied with well deserved malice. I knew that I would sound like a lunatic to anyone I told of my plan (not that I _had_ anyone) but now that I had felt that euphoric control it was _**not **_getting away from me again. It didn't matter how it happened but I just could not let it go! The sleep had felt so sweet… perhaps if I was sleeping forever I could have my own world with no others to push me around.

It was a rash decision but I would see it through to the end. I couldn't just sleep for forever because I would eventually wake up, but I knew that when I lost enough blood I fainted. Perhaps if I lost enough blood I could stay in that sleep like state forever! And so, with that rationalization, I reached over and grabbed one of the few things I owned, a rusty kunai that I had found and prized. It was the first start to my career as a shinobi, even if I wasn't yet in the academy. I took the kunai and pressed the tip to my wrist 'Well, there's no going back now.' and I pushed in. Immediately, a well of blood rose up. Transfixed by the startling crimson, I ignored the pain and continued up my arm, tracing my veins. Every move I made caused my arm to burn with a cold fire but I was blind to the agony an average person may have felt.

However, as I pulled back to stare at my new wound that was gushing red down my arm and into my lap, I felt a spark of frustration. The edges of the gaping cuts were already closing in, ready to seal up and leave not a trace of what I had done. I hadn't taken into account my strange healing ability, it would certainly pose a problem. No matter, I reasoned to myself, the larger the wound the longer it would take to close. And I would be long gone by the time the next one sealed.

I set my stained kunai down and yanked my worn shirt up and over my head. Grabbing the knife once more, I reclined back until my back touched the floor and then relaxed and prepared myself. This was necessary. If I just did this, I would have sweet dreams forever. So there was no reason to be afraid. There would be no more mean villagers spitting curses at me and calling me a monster as they beat me into oblivion. No, my cycle of pain would end now. I would end it.

With that thought, I looked to my abdomen and chest, both unblemished despite what they had endured. I gripped the kunai harder and, before I lost my nerve, drove it straight into my abdomen up to the hilt. With the thrust of my knife I screamed as loud as I could. The blood curdling screech carried on and on as the pain was never ending in its agonizing onslaught. I couldn't form a cohesive thought, all my mind could process was _pain pain pain_. What I did know, was that this would give me peace. And so, while still yelling at the top of my lungs and in what was the most intense agony I had ever experienced, I gripped the handle of the kunai with both hands and pulled up towards my chest. The harder I pulled the higher pitched my scream became. I eventually abandoned all pretense of control and just thrashed the knife around as violently as I could.

When I no longer had the strength to carry on, I opened my eyes and all I could see was crimson. Letting the kunai rest in my mutilated guts as my arms fell limp, I quieted myself and a smile came to my face.

'That wasn't so hard... It's all over… I can be Hokage..." I think hazily as I give in to the darkness and let myself slip away.

**Author's Note: Perhaps it ended a bit quickly but I wanted to show the young Naruto's brash and "head first" nature. I don't believe he would have waited around to think it through.**

**Review please! Constructive criticism or compliments are both very welcome ^^**


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